Survival Instincts

CW: Sexualized Violence, Abuse, life threatening moments

When it feels like our life is under threat, our thinking/planning part of our brain shuts down and the instinctual part takes over. So, we don't get a choice on how to survive our instincts do this automatically. Triggers are things (sometimes seeming totally random) that trigger any of these responses when we truly are in danger... or when something reminds us of a threat. Note, we are not always conscious of what they are.

Fight/Flight

Sometimes our instincts go with LOTS of energy, giving the kick to fight back or take off (flight). It can feel like heavy breathing, anxiety, heart pumping, and your body clenched.

Freeze

Sometimes our instincts don't see fighting or getting away as an option as we are totally overwhelmed, we will freeze.

This can present as dissociation (feeling our of your body), wanting to move but you just can't or feeling  crushed like under a rock.

When not in danger it can help to have BIG inhales, finding movement, anything to bring some energy back

Fawn

When the above options are seeming to help... like in ongoing abuse, sexualized violence, and harassment some folks find themselves tending to the person who hurt them or seeming to befriend them. This is sometimes pointed to for survivors of sexualized violence or abuse as they may instinctually do things afterwards to be extra nice to the person who harmed them.

NONE of these are Survivor’s Fault!

Memories are not always stored in the brain when these are triggered but in the body, and that is part of why declarations of what happened don't always come out in a linear way, that does not make it untrue... just shows how scary something was.

This also means, we can't possibly avoid triggering someone as reminders can be tiny things or feel disconnected... we can help recognize and co-regulate.